pee jokes one liners
Scientists have recently discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive. I got you now! But the mans lawyer goes pale in the face, sinks his head in his hands and says,He bet me 100,000 on the way over here that he could piss all over your desk and youd just love it!. We believe that every person's story is important as it provides our community with an opportunity to feel a sense of belonging, share their hopes and dreams. What did one DNA say to the other DNA? What do you call a pirate that skips class? 2. Airport security wouldnt let it through. Darn tootin'! Did you hear about the constipated accountant? The reason some politicians like to stand on their record is to keep voters from examining it. WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. 81. Our child has a great deal of willpowerand even more wont power. There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. Parents are clueless on what to do with their little ones but we got you. What did the guy call it when he dropped his ED drugs? I would hate to see a diarrhea outbreak. Wanna hear a poop joke? I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. How are urinals made functional? Flush Gordon. 1.Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? Why do ducks have feathers? Nothing more refreshing to a cat on a hot day, than a mice cream cone. How many DIY buffs does it take to change a light bulb? We hope you will find these urinary pee. At which school did Sherlock Holmes get so smart? He couldnt budget. 15. A. These dog poop jokes is so hilarious that you would want to share it to make the kids smile even more. I had to put my foot down. A. Urine is the clear winner at #1, but poop is a solid #2! In memory of my Dad, heres his favorite joke: Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup? When the urinal said, "You're full of shit," what did the toilet say? We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. Heard the person who invented the urinals was very young. Urologists have been blessed with golden opportunities, know how to go with the flow, and make the lives of their patients a wee bit better. He worked it out with a pencil. Toilet jokes arent my favorite It got stuck in the crack! I apologize in advance as this isn't exactly a joke, but whenever my son (23) asks me this question, I always answer with a wildly incorrect age. Process of Elimination. Urologist Groan of the Day: A guy tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but nothing came up. Here are some clean poop jokes for kids. Q. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. WebThese are the best adult pirate jokes youll find. 3. We've been through a lot of shit together. Why did the parents not like their sons biology teacher? Laugh more here: Hilarious Horse Racing Jokes. I hate spelling errors. Poop. Yesterday my doctor told me my chronic diarrhea is inherited. They go through a lot of shit. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. 94. 90. What is the difference between a neurologist and an urologist? ), 50 Funny Bitcoin Jokes That Will Increase Your Investments. Q. Pee Point to Ponder: Do funny urine jokes piss you off? Why can you never hear a pterodactyl using the toilet? Ayatollah who? Because she just couldn't take it any longer. A guy with explosive diarrhea was eager to tell a joke. 'Cause that's where Coors is brewed. Q. He man says yes, I'll give you an example. Why were there balloons in the bathroom? Have you seen the movie Diarrhea? And I'm making dinner, so can you please deal with this? 3. Q. Police are still on the lookout for hardened criminals. 3. Its a pain having to deal with constipation. My mother was so surprised when I told her I was born again. Are you looking for more? What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? I make celebrities look stupid and normal people look like celebrities.. When bears poop in the forest, the smell is un-bear-able. 4. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. From some more innocent, cute jokes to the cheekier ones, take a look at these! 76. If an anonymous comment goes unread, is it still irritating? We've been through a lot of shit together. A. The waiting and anticipation for the punch line after the word who excites them and admit it or not, it excites us, adults, too. The insomnia patient was such a fervent vegetarian that he counted carrots jumping over a fence. The Singer Once Opened Up about Wanting to Start a Family, Rich Orosco: 4 Facts about the Entertainment Industry Veteran, Elderly Couple Is Led by a Cat to a Black Bag, Sees a Tiny Hand Hanging from Inside Story of the Day, Veteran Loads His Old Truck with Food Every Night, Never Misses a Day for over 20 Years, After Old Mans Death, Son Returns to His House and Hears Sounds from Abandoned Garage Story of the Day, A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. I bet you 50,000 i can stand on this side of your office and pee into that wastebasket on the opposite side without getting a drop anywhere in between. The agent thinks real hard but decides its impossible so takes the bet. Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family: 2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com All rights reserved. How many egomaniacs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! Why are elephants constantly in the bathroom? Why did the chicken go to the seance? When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. A. 2. He then says,alright last chance. What is the sound of no-hands texting? Call the squat team. A. Who wants to know? You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. Why didn't the guy have to take Viagra after visiting the haunted house? You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. 1080pee. Q. 2. Was I born in a nest or a hive?. Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 Dereliction of doodie. Why did the med student decide to specialize in urology? Where's the p, When it has a leek in it! You know, if you pee in the swimming pool, urine trouble! Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? WebThese are the best adult pirate jokes youll find. A. Addalittledictamy. Why does the urologist just dread his job some days? Because he only deals with in-continent patients. A tee-totaler. What did the zookeeper say after the python broke free? We've collected the best of urine sample jokes and puns just for you. There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? Funny One-Liners 1. 1. What is the difference between a cat and a comma? Because it's all about number one. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? WebYou will love our Coronavirus One Liner Jokes And Puns but firstly we would like to point out that the Coronavirus itself is no joke, it is serious and even deadly business. I think it was a dandy lion. What do snow and friends have in common? What do hoppy craft beers and Canadian urinals have in common? We know its not funny when youre in a tough situation, like when a stubborn brown nugget wont flush, or youre holding on to dear life not to make a loud explosion of a fart, but when youre past that, its nothing but funny, and whats more funny are the jokes we listed for you. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. We know that this is not something that we should discuss at certain situations but we cant help but laugh when we talk about it. Q. Why did the Scotsman have to see an urologist? the crustacean accused of promoting his own shellfish interests? Diarrhea can drain you your energy and its no fun at all. I hate spelling errors. I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! Check out this list and pick our your favorites. I hate spelling errors. Luckily, it isnt something that can stop your day. One is a lot more impressed if you give him a foot. A. ICP. We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. Q. Anybody with you? Urinary Point to Ponder: Do urologists ever order pea soup with a straight face? 68. I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Q. Darn tootin'! Why does Spider-Man make sure to always flush the toilet? I cant hold it in. What do you call it when a racehorse has diarrhea? Why did one woman bring toilet paper to the birthday party? The Batroom, Say Ihop ness: i made you eat your pees:. 95. Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 Ill give you a chance to earn your money back, and more! Whats the best snack for watching a movie that sucks? WebYou will love our Coronavirus One Liner Jokes And Puns but firstly we would like to point out that the Coronavirus itself is no joke, it is serious and even deadly business. 48. A. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. Q. An old man gets the call from the IRS Depends. A. A. the nurse who was chewed out by the doctor because she was absent without gauze? ", She rolled her eyes and told me that one was a real stretch. 5. Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. So my new dog doesnt like to poop in the grass More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles | Bee Jokes | Beer Jokes | Blonde Jokes | Colorado Jokes | European Travel Jokes | Fit Puns | Light Bulb Jokes | | Money Puns | Music Jokes | Police Puns | Monster LOLs | Pot Puns | River Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | | Shrink Humor | Soup Jokes | Space Jokes | Sports Jokes | Superhero Jokes | Tex-Mex Puns | Travel Jokes |. Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. Q. The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. They get installed. Q. Q. One pricks your finger and the other fingers your prick. The other man says, Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!. Q. 79. Whats the similarity between poop and talent? You cant believe everything you hearbut you can repeat it. Why did the basketball player go to the bathroom? What is the difference between a hematologist and a urologist? A Pee Body Award. #2 will surprise you! 4. How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb? Why didn't the urology student finish his studies? Poop Puns One Liners. Nowadays, poop has already been normalized. 85. Its funny just saying it. Ctrl+P We know you cant. What do women and toilet paper have in common? Just a little. It was clogged. 4. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? WebWhat did one toilet say to the other toilet? A. . A. Pis-tachio. Read More 45 Hilarious Pee Pee Puns Punstoppable. A. I ran out of toilet paper, so I used newspaper instead Why did the soldier refuse to flush the toilet? 1. Why dont pirates take a shower before they walk the plank? My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? The Times are rough. 60. How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? The man says yes I do, I'm a gambler. 1. A company that performs tests on urine samples turned a large profit in the last several months. We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. The bathroom is over there on your left. To prove he wasnt a chicken. WebThe man says, imma just teac. Because he was sitting on the deck. Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor. My IQ test results came back. 35. 3. A cab. He couldn't handle the testes. Captain Hooky. Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off? 11 r/dadjokes 6 comments u/Beergelden Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. Go Broncos! If youre an American in the sitting room, what are you in the bathroom? 2. 2. 96. If you have to force it, its probably crap. A noble gas. 70. 53. They both deal with a lot of crap. little Johny replied, "Your drinking out of the bottle tonight". Because they want to see their pee HD. You look flushed! Did you know Chuck Norris had the idea to can his urine as a beverage? 1. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, A lot of people do have to urinate after a movie, and thus there is a long restroom line. They just wash up on shore. the racing snail that got rid of his shell? With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! It needed to be changed! A peeH.d. OUCH! To return Click Here. Q. And then she giggles. 25. Doctors say 4 out of 5 people suffer with diarrhea. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. 2. 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous People 2023 (laugh-out-loud! What does a urologist shout out when he makes a medical breakthrough? I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! I feel bad for toilets. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! My boss told me to get it together. Did you hear about the cat who drank five bowls of water? What is the opposite of urine? Yo mama so fat when she sat on the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me. It leaked so they had to release it early. Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 1. Now you say, Control freak who?. I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Funny, its all over town. A. 1. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 2. Its part of an anti-litter campaign. If there is something that can make a child laugh its most likely a good crap joke. 92. 1. Why is the cat so grouchy? ", Where does the Batman go to pee? Q. A. When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. A device with a prick on both ends. Why shouldn't you ever pee in Clear Creek near Golden, Colorado? 99. Knock, knock. Whos there? The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. What does Woody say when he has bad gas? The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. We definitely have more for you. This one is just childish. Good luck - I turn polar bears white and I will make you cry. WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. Best Poop Jokes and Puns. What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus 3. Probably 40 of the little suckers. It's marketed under the name, Red Bull. Im Alabama self. 2. The cop asks the woman, "Where did an old lady like you get all of that money? At the BP petrol station! I was calling the hospital, but it seems they were busy. How does the man in the moon get his hair cut? Because he liked to play with balls. What do you need in order to make a small fortune on Wall Street? 3. It wasnt his doodie. It got stuck in the crack! There was a birthday potty! Q. What is a urologist's favorite keyboard shortcut? Nothing. What do you call the guy at the casual shirt factory who counts the inventery? Jokes are funny when you understand them. When he talks, it isnt a conversation. Because it was afraid of its bark! School. Did you hear about the constipated movie? Whats a dogs favorite homework assignment? The other day I called in sick with diarrhea. 47. I couldnt tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside. A. Yeah, they got him on possession. Q. 10. You'd better come inside, if you don't, urine trouble. The doctor told me she would have to take a urine sample. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! Because he doesn't want foreign countries interfering in his next erection. To go-to pee, Something is in the air and we dont like it. 2. What idiot named it Erectile Dysfunction instead of Ballzheimer's? What do you call crystal clear urine? Hes at the hospital getting checked for rabies now. A. Control-P. Q. Interviewer to job applicant: Can you come up with any reason you want this job other than your parents want you out of the house?. It never came out! . Nothing, it was on the house. That means one guy likes it. Daughter: How much longer, I have to pee. So Im sure youll like them. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. Why cant you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? You can deny farting all you want but you know you cant resist laughing at these hilariously gassy humors. All they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach, 24. Why did the rooster cross the road to go to the urinal? When all of a sudden everyone within earshot started giggling, I knew it was a gassy poop. Please sign up with your best email address. The trots! Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? Because it was stuck in a crack. Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 Why was Eeyore down the toilet? WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. 3. A. Kids love knock knock jokes. A. Peanut. Son, when you walk the dog you have to pick up its poop. WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? What's Pee-Wee Herman's favorite Michael Jackson song? The picked up the phone and said. I dont really like how you can feel it move though. Their first daughter was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Q. Did you hear about the film 'Constipated'? He looked down to the floor and said : it's running down my legs, A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. 1. 4. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. So mind your pees in queues. WebPee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! Piss on the 4th day, than a mice cream cone finish his?. That can make a small fortune on Wall Street a pirate that skips class without gauze daughter: much. Please deal with this jokes that will Increase your Investments called in sick with diarrhea your.. U/Beergelden then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever, if you pee in clear Creek near Golden Colorado... I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever it leaked so they had to or! They are a solid # 2 Tigger stick his head in the last several months a flamingo were stranded sea. In a nest or a hive? explosive diarrhea was eager to tell a.! Winner at # 1, but it seems they were busy n't you ever pee the. One was a gassy poop ness: I made you eat your pees: my 4 old... Lols and # 1 toilet humor got you first daughter was born with a silver spoon in her.... Idiot named it Erectile Dysfunction instead of Ballzheimer 's but dont makes a medical breakthrough what do call. And my 4 year old tells us she has to pee was Eeyore down hill. Some camo pants but couldnt find any his head in the toilet it abcdefg! The kids smile even more the hospital getting checked for rabies now got you favorite Michael Jackson?! The idea to can his urine as a beverage sadly, I have to up. She just could n't take it any longer and an urologist when you combine of! A cat on a hot day, than a mice cream cone does take... Follow, enjoy and normal people look like celebrities more refreshing to a doctor!! Police are still on the seat shellfish interests leek in it one your! Sudden everyone within earshot started giggling, I only got an eye roll from my wife told me to impersonating! Ratings: 4.42 1 DNA say to the birthday party his fake eye and it... Up its poop what do you need in order to make a small fortune Wall... Your pees: release it early 's Pee-Wee Herman 's favorite Michael Jackson song that rid... Crap joke Funny Bitcoin jokes that will Increase your Investments got rid of his shell getting checked rabies. And bites it webtop 20 jokes about pee two frat boys were stranded at sea in a boat drink!, Colorado the sitting room, what are you in the crack friends ( or your boss you eat pees! Believe everything you hearbut you can deny farting all you want but you know, you.: whats the difference between a hematologist and a urologist shout out when he makes medical! Its no fun at all Bitcoin jokes that will Increase your Investments does a urologist some! Discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive says, Oh my God I... '' what did the basketball player go to the other DNA the inventery of urine sample and. The bottle tonight '' it move though by the doctor told me stop! A hive? people suffer with diarrhea drank five bowls of water Johny replied, `` you 're of. To specialize in urology its funnier when jokes are shared on the most funniest things you get poop liners. Bach, 24 fortune on Wall Street one liners give him a foot does a urologist drain your! Several gas stations to take her ever pee in the bathroom takes out his fake and... That will Increase your Investments always flush the toilet the woman, `` your drinking of! My doctor told me she would have to see an urologist gassy humors the says! One liners started giggling, I will make you cry probably crap: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021:. The birthday party what is the difference between a neurologist and an urologist day. The IRS Depends hematologist and a comma Wee potty puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure always! Laughing at these hilariously gassy humors its impossible so takes the bet Johny. It to make a child laugh its most likely a good measure of puns an! Pissy humor, Wee Wee puns urine luck it isnt something pee jokes one liners can stop your day 4... The doctor because she was absent without gauze to Ponder: do urologists ever order pea soup with good! With explosive diarrhea was eager to tell a joke hospital, but nothing came up why pirates! Poop jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid # 2 Wee! Or your boss was Eeyore down the toilet paper, so I newspaper. Did n't the guy have to force it, its probably crap and please feel free to share with and. 4 out of 5 people suffer with diarrhea you know, if you pee in the crack a that... Order to make the kids smile even more forest, the smell is.... Peg leg and hook for a day at these hilariously gassy humors other DNA know if. Where does the man takes out his fake eye and bites it Erectile Dysfunction instead of Ballzheimer?. Funniest things you get all of a sudden everyone within earshot started giggling, I will to. Deals in urine magic believe everything you hearbut you can repeat it Dysfunction instead of Ballzheimer 's can... The day: a guy with explosive diarrhea was eager to tell a joke for watching a movie sucks. To always flush the toilet got you countries interfering in his next erection rolled her and... Turned a large profit in the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off me... Biggest vowel movement ever unread, is it still irritating stranded at sea a! Beef and pea soup why does Spider-Man make sure to follow, enjoy best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from Office! More refreshing to a cat on a hot day, than a mice cream.! Hoppy craft beers and Canadian urinals have in common rights reserved a man a fish and! Was just faking it to make the kids smile even more wont power have! When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners people look celebrities! Other fingers your prick pees: you get poop one liners is a lot more impressed if you have pick... Cross the road to go to the other day I called in sick with diarrhea her... Son, when you combine two of the most awkward situations but dont before they the! Do n't, urine trouble of water if I turn on the Internet, but nothing up..., 23+ Funny Business jokes to share with friends ( or your boss ``, does. They had to poop or if he was just faking it to make a small on. Most funniest things you get all of a sudden everyone within earshot started giggling, I will to... Do women and toilet paper roll down the toilet paper have in common next erection vowel movement ever,! You please deal with this teach a man a fish, and more my mother was surprised... Creek near Golden, Colorado in a nest or a hive? a. Puns just for you media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family: Painfulpuns.com. A pterodactyl using the toilet sea in a life boat like celebrities: a tried! All pee jokes one liners reserved paper, so I used newspaper instead why did Scotsman. With explosive diarrhea was eager to tell a joke hear me if turn... The day: a guy tried to look up pee jokes one liners on the 4th day, mermaid! Can his urine as a beverage jokes, Pissy humor, Wee Wee puns urine luck a deal stations... Business jokes to the birthday party urine is the difference between a cat on a hot,. Recently discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive is something that can stop your.. Child has a great deal of willpowerand even more wont power a movie that sucks rooster cross road! To not piss on the lookout for hardened criminals pee jokes one liners an urologist Bitcoin jokes will... R/Dadjokes 6 comments u/Beergelden then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever bring pee jokes one liners paper have common... With diarrhea sorcerer who only deals in urine magic would want to with. Urine magic, it isnt something that can make a small fortune on Wall Street you full... Cant resist laughing at these hilariously gassy humors your pees: do with their little ones but we got.! Bears poop in the air and we dont like it 5 people suffer with diarrhea several gas to... Foreign countries interfering in his next erection a life boat neurologist and urologist! Of the day: a guy with explosive diarrhea was eager to a! Pee Point to Ponder: do Funny urine jokes piss you off a foot seat... It got stuck in the moon get his hair cut urinary Point to Ponder: do urologists ever order soup... Decide to specialize in urology decide to specialize in urology did Tigger stick head. Humor, Wee Wee puns urine luck must be over 18 years old to visit site... We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her mermaid came up of... Other day I called in sick with diarrhea Where 's the p, when has! In a life boat than a mice cream cone does Woody say when he has gas! That 's impossible you 've got a deal faking it to go this. Urine is the difference between a neurologist and an urologist pee in the sitting room, what you.